At one point, my home burnt down. To the ground. Nothing left.
Too many ‘big’ events happened, one after the other and for so long. It has affected my memory. I sometimes don’t remember things, people, periods of time.
After this fire, I began to couch surf. And couch surfing is a bit like hitch-hiking – you are in someone else’s space and everything that might mean.
There are periods of time that I have no recollection of what happened.
Then I have sharp, vivid memories. Like of a woman who worked at The Rivoli while I worked there, she had long beautiful red hair, she was walking down the street with a bag full of clothes for me. I didn’t know her that well.
Acts of kindness and acts of violence – extreme things that trigger a strong body response – stay in your mind. The memories often return until they are put to rest, once and for all. By ‘put to rest’, I mean ‘digested and transformed’, made into the fabric of your story.
Drama, playing it out, is a tool to put trauma to rest so that you don’t have to actually live the extreme, you can play it. It can be an aware way to transform wounds into stories.
Also, in this video, they news report talks about the fire as also being the first job for the first female firefighter ever in Toronto. The first.
The details that stick in your head…what you are obsessed with follows you.